Stewardship in Choir Singing

It is Wednesday again. I pack my things and prepare for the long commute.

Before I leave, I make sure that everything is ready for tomorrow:  work to continue; errands for the helper to run; the kids' school requirements checked and projects completed. I brace myself for the coming hours of tedious and repetitive exercises at choir.

I sit in a corner inside the van and my service mates let me be. They already know that Wednesday is choir practice day for me. With earplugs on, I listen to the choir songs recorded in my iPod. Instead of chiming in their small talk, I concentrate on relearning the songs taught from last week. I open my book of sheet music. I try to follow the sounds and the arrangement of notes on paper. I sing to myself. I hum. I tap my hand with the beat. I do the exercise all over again.

Yes, feeling professional singer! Feeling lang.

Truth to tell, I am not a good singer. I may have a singing voice decent enough to be heard but singing well is another thing all together. I have a history of missed notes and pitchy performances. I have a long standing affair with flats and sharps. Ask my husband who've seen the best and worst in my "singing" and he will say, "Hindi kase yan nagpapractice". He is kind, obviously, but the point is, singing entails a lot of discipline and hard work.

Singing requires character. It is not anchored on talent alone. The talent and the courage to sing and stand in front of a crowd are gifts from God. Left unattended and undernourished, the gifts will whither away. 

I think I have squandered those gifts when I was younger. What do I know then? At the time, I pride myself on being entitled to such gifts. Oh yes, I was a brat. I still am but thanks to the Ignatian formation I received from the Jesuits, and  which Magis Deo continues. I could now recognize the ugliness in me and realize that God will always love me, pitchy singing and all!

And so I attend the weekly choir practice in Makati as an act of stewardship. I need to take care of myself and God's gifts to me. It is precious, these gifts. The least I could do is to develop it and make it useful so that others may be moved to seek and find God. Singing songs of praise and worship is, after all, a form of prayer and evangelization. If the congregation sings with the choir at mass as one community, then God is there present and alive.