For A

I did not expect us to be friends. You were antipatika and sarcastic. And, at the time, I thought you were pretty snotty.

You have reason to be. You're smart and sensitive. You carried maroon like it's the color of your blood. Your dreams are grand. Your vision, great! Then one day, something crushed you to the ground. No, it is not lupus. But something more lethargic because it afflicted your soul.

I remember giving you an advice then. Because you asked for it. You replied, "Ah, mabait kang tao."

After that, everything changed. I did not tell you then, but really, between us, you are the kinder one. So the coffee and conversations brewed and blended in our days of catching up and keeping up. You listened so well. So damn well that now I know where your strength as a writer came from. Girl, you can write everything and anything! I was awed with your ideas and your outlook in life. I thought lupus will not bring you down, but heartache will.

Well, I was wrong. Now I only have memories of you.

You initiated me to my first Palanca Awards night.

You gave me the idea to use Z as my signature in our chats online and email exchanges because you singed A. A-Z, katuwa diba?

You gave me encouragement to write despite being olats in writing contests and workshops.

You provided me with clear and objective feedback and critiques on my writing.

You were the friend who backed me up twice. The same friend who lent financial support with out asking for payback.

Thank you, A for your gift of friendship and laughter. I thank you for trusting me enough to know the demons that stir and try to break your soul. I am rendered helpless too for I have my own to contend with. It isn't so bad when I think about it because there's two of us alike in some ways. Har-dee-har!

Lastly, I'm sorry. For missing your 30th birthday and not emceeing the occasion. I still owe you, big time! But like what you said the last time we met, "Kape-kape muna ang sisingilin ko sayo!"

A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Come to my dreams, A. Show me how to repay you.